Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My buttlessness

My genetic asslessness, formerly semi-disguised by generous all-over padding, is now becoming hard to ignore. On my weekend run, my underwear was falling down, taking my shorts with them. I mean, there was no mooning, as I have no ass, but I did spend a lot of my run holding up the seat of my pants.

Yes, the shorts are maybe a bit too big in general, but I can assure you, the definition between leg and back is minimal. I probably should do more lunges-- I pretty much only do them in the laundry room when I get down slightly too early-- but I hit the squat machine at least weekly, and I spend a large portion of my yoga class in some sort of squatting position. So perhaps I could concentrate my efforts at the gym on butt-building, but it is my belief that any hope of ass-awesomeness has been thwarted by my DNA.

And speaking of genetic thwarting, I am not thrilled with what is going on with the upper body. I do not think I am seeing a proportional shrinkage of the belly and bust region. I am not actually sure who to blame for this, but I'm quite sure I am exercising my various parts equally and therefore feel I should be shedding them in a proportionate way. Frankly, I would have been totally happy to keep my pre-diet ass, flab and all.

1 comment:

Book Glutton said...

I wish I had that problem. Lisa was showing a girl some pretty intense butt exercises at the gym last night. You should ask her to show you some!