Sonoma Diet Cookbook, Le Meh

Well, I've had my Sonoma Diet Cookbook for a week or so now, and so far, the recipes have disappointed. Great pictures, but neither the turkey-apple salad nor the pasta with green beans and sun-dried tomatoes have delighted. I will continue to soldier on with the cookbook, but my initial impression is that the deliciousness mostly resides in the diet book.

The past couple of weeks have featured a lot of not-very-diet-friendly drinking (one glass a day, you say, Ms. Guttersen? How about... 20+ in a week?), so I will be devoting myself completely to the diet for the foreseeable future. And my completely, I mean mostly, generally, probably.

Sunburns, the Sonoma Diet, and motherfucking plateaus.

1) I have received 3 sunburns in the past 9 days. Yes, I know that makes me an idiot. Yes, I was wearing sunscreen. Southern California is not my ideal habitat. I try very hard to protect my blinding whiteness, but alas, it is never enough. I wish I could shower in sunscreen.

Worst thing about this sunburn business is (after the increased risk of skin cancer, uncomfortable burns, and embarrassing lobster-toned body parts) is the fact that it makes you retain water. More on this in section 3.

2) Yawn. Lately I have felt that my life would be more enjoyable if I could spend it on the couch eating pizza and Thai noodle dishes. I have so far resisted this inclination, but I am getting a little worn down on the cooking/dieting front. So, cheers, Connie Guttersen, it's your lucky day. I've ordered the Sonoma Diet Cookbook off Barnes and Noble, where it is a bargain at $6.98. I thought maybe some new recipes would inspire me to get off my duff. We'll see.

3) I have been fluctuating at or over 162.4 for the past ten days!! Grr to the motherfucking rrr. Yes, plateaus are to be expected and I have maintained a pretty remarkable constant weightloss. Last week I hit the gym 4 times, and my past two weekends have been jammed packed with physical activity (including a 17-mile bike ride yesterday, holla!). Yes, I might have had 2 or 3 or whatever margaritas on cinco de mayo, but does that mean this plateau is DESERVED? No, I tell you it is not. Please join me in prayer that my godforsaken sunburn will release the water it is retaining and allow me to soon reach my goal of BMI normal!

Damn you, Connie Guttersen.

Why would you make me make harissa to be used in a harissa sauce which will then be used in a Tunisian carrot salad?

Do you know how flipping messy making harissa is? Do you know how long it took me to get the orangey oily residue out of my food processor? No? Well, neither do I, actually, because IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. Not to mention my translucent once-white strainer, which is now translucent orange. Oh, and by the way, Connie, that whole straining step seemed to be unnecessary, since the only thing left in my strainer after I spent 20 minutes cursing you and pushing pureed chilis through, was anger. No pepper skins there, only a lot of ORANGE.

I mean, I know harissa is sold in stores. Heck, I bet I could get the requisite amount for free just by being my charming self at any kebab or falafel vendor. Maybe in cities less diverse than Los Angeles, harissa is hard to fine. But I bet that in those same cities, guajillo peppers are hard to find too!

I just wish I knew why you asked this of me, Connie. Other Sonoma Diet recipes have mandated the use of storebought Asian chili garlic sauce, a similar condiment. You even instructed me once to use storebought salsa! Salsa is a cinch to make, Connie, and storebought stuff isn't nearly as good nor as nutritional as homemade.

I don't intend to break up with your diet, Ms. Guttersen. I have, after all, lost 13 lbs so I think I may as well stick with it. But I may begin questioning your judgement.

Breakfast and Diet Cheese

This morning, I enjoyed:
Two baked eggs sprinkled with green onion and feta.

I have been following the Wave One meal plan more or less exactly. I don't really trust myself to go rogue (the book provides instruction in devising your own meal plans)-- although I will admit to swapping the occasional unpleasant raw veg (cauliflower, celery) with more delicious, roughly as healthy vegetables like bell peppers and broccoli.

Now, I feel like the author, Connie Guttersen, and I have some trust between each other. She trusts me to keep goat cheese and gorgonzola in my fridge while remaining on her meal plan, and I trust her not to poison me. I even roasted brussels sprouts and zucchini for dinner the other night (sorry about that, Bill), two of my least favored vegetables.

There is one thing, though, that Ms. Guttersen wants me to do that I can just not bring myself to do-- eat low-fat cheese. While most of the recipes so far call for a very small amount of real cheese (chevre, parmesan, blue cheese, feta...), she occasionally instructs me to use a larger, though still quite small, amount of low-fat cheddar or to snack on a Laughing Cow Babybel. So far, I have been swapping the low-fat cheese options with half the amount of feta or fresh goat cheese (relatively low in fat for full-fat cheeses, but significantly higher than their low-fat brethren).

I can't decide if my aversion to the diet cheese is necessary to preserve my sense of self throughout the great diet experiment, or is an arbitrary line in the sand. After all, this morning I could have had TWO tablespoons of low-fat cheddar instead of my one tablespoon of full-fat feta. Plus, in my pre-diet life, I regularly enjoyed low-fat cottage cheese and sour cream, and non-fat milk and yogurt. If other dairy products can still be enjoyed in reduced fat varieties, then is it possible that cheese could be similarly delicious?

In other news, 179.8 this morning. And I am sporting pants purchased in a size 10* last year that today are significantly more comfortable than they have ever been before.

*That's a Gap size 10-- let's not get too excited.